no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
