You're completely useless in the revolution.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
