did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
