so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
