Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
