Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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