don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
