You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
third nipple confirmed
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
