normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize