I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
