Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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