dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
