Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
