So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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