Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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