I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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