I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
