I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
