I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
