I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
