I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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