I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
