you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize