it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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