I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
