? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize