i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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