I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
