It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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