..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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