New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize