so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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