Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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