I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize