I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize