You're my little dorito
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
