look no pants
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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