you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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