Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
