the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
