I don't think brook has ever known best
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
