I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
