my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
