I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Terrible idea I love it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
