I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize