break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
