he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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