Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize