I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
