Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
