Hey man sorry I got all grabby
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
