Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
