I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I haven't been this sober since birth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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