smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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