my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
