i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
