Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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