she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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