Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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