Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
