He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize