I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
