My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My feet surprised me
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